I don’t even know how to answer people when they ask me how I am doing. My mum died about 8 years ago. Working out helps me a lot but not sufficient. I read and write and watch T.V. I think I was more broken up about it than Mum was. My husband of 28 years died Nov 8th. Ann Fields  March 2, 2017 at 9:13 am Reply. My email is crwm001@hotmail.com if you ever need to write. She was referred to the oncologist and it was determined she had a brain tumour that there was nothing they could do. I eventually wrote a circulated email to the people above her which made her change her tune towards me. His mother was there she said she was there when he was born and she was there when he left this world. ??? Shay, I read every word of your story of losing your mom. Some days I just can’t concentrate enough to accomplish anything beyond a cup of coffee and making the bed. I am not able to focus on my job and seem to move at a snail’s pace when doing my planning activities. left the room! is this normal? It’s been a few months and I was given the permission to live by feeling more energetic as well as wanting to cook. What you are feeling is normal but terrible I know. This is a cliche because it is true. I hold on to the promise of being with them again one day. I lost my mother on March 25, 2018. I was very attached to my mom and have anxiety disorder as well as a past of eating disorder. He was good to other people. My sisters and i are greiving very hardly and we are completly drained. Stress and epilepsy and being overworked isn’t good for me. !God bless you!!!!! IsabelleS  December 18, 2020 at 10:30 am Reply. Funeral preparations underway and all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. I’m always tired and forgetful atm aswell. Today I was trying to take care of license plates, emission testing and some other errands. The devil always seems to find a way to ruin happiness. Whether it is significant increases or decreases, changes in appetite are normal with grief and many other life stressors. i am always trying to figure out these ways that couldve prevented it. Reach out to friends. I thought that by now I would have semi returned to the person I was but have realised that, that person doesn’t exist anymore, but it is really hard needing to stay in my job but really just wanting to take time out for myself to recover. I’ve never had such a connection with a pet before and now my shortness of breath and chest tightness are back. It took me 5-6 months to get back to regular sleep patterns. I’m hard pressed to do laundry, dishes and to do the cleaning. Our youngest son got a msg on Facebook telling him his brother was dead. Michelle  December 11, 2017 at 8:30 am Reply, Caitlin I’m so sorry for your loss! Please Breathe….weep and drink tea. Some nights, I can’t sleep because I can’t find a comfortable position for my aching hips and back. What’s wrong with me? Accepting the big change in my reality. I would say that what you are feeling is normal for the grief process that we must go through. Losing all those you loved, and who loved you unconditionally, is life changing, shattering, soul destroying. I finally had in of I figured there was no pain meds around thousands of years ago so they had to depend on tea’s what the hell let’s give it a try. I can’t describe how my heart feels: I can’t focus, I don’t eat well, I cry daily and I still have not been able to clean out her room. I lost my BFF of almost 50 years, last week. I am a wife with epilepsy and I take care of a husband that is 52 years old and is on dialysis 3x/week and have 2 dogs to take care of. Then when I decided to take my due over that first summer, everyone acted like I had committed a heinous act. All I wanted was the best for him. The grief was so deep that after crying daily, I started noticing my hearing was going! She was 78. Trust in life… We all live and die and we can’t choose when or how whatever happens illness or accident it is our destiny… We dont know how long our lives are some long some short and we have to believe that our souls live on in the next life…. I just lost my mom also 4-3-2020. I study the word, listen to preachers, meditate on scripture like psalm 27, the lord is my strength. I lost my mother August 3, 2016.. hit me like a run of bricks… in the 7 days leading up to her home going I didn’t eat only thing I did was drunk water..never left her side I stayed at the hospital and it was shocking to my family because I hate hospitals.. watching her in the week I did I saw her body transform and the dying process as they call it was taking over.. My mother had been dealing with kidneys issues going to dialysis 3 times a week for about 3 hours a day… I moved back from Maryland to help her.. went to every doctors visit etc.. now reading this one would assume I am the only child.. I’m not i have two older bothers and a younger sister. Although he was ready to go (he suffered terminal dementia and agitation, but repeatedly spoke of leaving to be with my mother who passed four years ago) and the family was prepared, the toll it takes can be immense. It did the opposite. I’m speaking from personal experience, having been through several traumatic events which gave me physical symptoms, even though it wasn’t myself that the events happened to. WYG provides general educational information from mental health professionals, but you should not substitute information on the What’s Your Grief website for professional advice. Hi my brother passed in Dec 2010 2 days before his birthday and close to Christmas,I started having gallbladder pain and back and hip pain and just all over body pain,went to a docteror foe a hip exray but he didn’t find any problems,but my gallbladder might need surgery,I never Hirt this much before,me and my brother were close…..I just want to stop hirting? He had surgery on Nov 1st. She had a long battle with Alzheimer’s, and was near the end stages when she had a massive stroke. I prone to narcissism. The reason I didn’t even consider getting treatment was because the pain was so distant, and I was so numb and overwhelmed with grief, that it felt as if the physical pain belonged to someone else. My dad was my best friend. Cat, my deepest sympathies to you as well. Me and Dad are feeling all these feelings. I know this is a late post but… I lost my best friend to cancer 2014. A side note- my beloved pet died unexpectedly yesterday (bless his soul), and all I could think was "will I ever see him again? These are hard times but I am trying to maintain some sort of routine and I find that it helps a bit. I went from having everyone I loved around me & a part of my daily life , to no one . I sang old songs to her that she used to sing to my sister and I when we were little and that helped me to cry. I have a 20-year-old cat also, and at the moment am very concerned, because we know so little of how animals grieve or fear. I’m dabbling in crafts. It hurts so much and I can’t make it go away. She survived several months longer than doctors anticipated, but no quality of life . since then I have been having all sorts of physical symptoms. I’m will be praying for you and your mom. i know that they are just trying to help, but its so much harder with the special treatment. I just want to sit at my desk and scream!!!! I love you, my dear husband, and pray to see you again someday. We both took for granted they would be there forever and the rug was pulled out so suddenly. I’ve had to hire a cook-as I can no longer do my meals. I’ve started painting again, a little. It’s hard being alone right now. Thank you for sharing that. Thank you once again for a very informative post. I am devastated and heartbroken. My feet feel like they have wrapped in rubber bands and on an electrical current. I listened to a great podcast On Being with Krista Tippett that talks about ambiguous loss and that ‘closure’ as well as a linear grief process is a construct of western culture. She went back into hospital 3 times, first they found 3 hip fractures and a water infection. I left the hospice home last night feeling utterly drained and I noticed an achiness in my upper arms as if I’d been lifting weights or something very heavy. i havent been the same since. Try starting with one set of 12–15 reps, and work up to three sets. It is sometimes overwhelming and along with missing them there are headaches…tiredness..muscle pain…some throat tightness at times. I want to stop thinking so I can sleep. There is no way to rush the grieve process but I know it helps me to talk to friends and a therapist. They told me that even if she’d survived that one, once they throw one clot, they will continue throwing clots until one kills them. In a short span of 3 months, I lost my Cat due to a dog attack, my Dog due to 3 types cancer, my rabbit due to illness and most importantly and most painfully my Mormor, (Guardian ) who raised me, and taught me everything I know. It’s too hard to go through grief alone, so I will pray for fresh insight and deep faith for you. I never thought grief could do this. She was only 71. I dont know im so confused. I miss him. I keep on thinking about the things that won’t happen like my mom being at my wedding some day or the fact that my moms dream doll house that she was going to build for her far away “future grandchildren” will never be built. I moved her into my house in October 2018 and she died there Jan 30th. I have God, Jesus, our only child, our 41 year old sweet son and his sweet wife. any good persons have been murdered or died or gone away . For most people, this slowly improves with time. My parents, brother and many loved friends have died, but losing a child is not like any other loss. I still function sometimes as if I am in a dream or a fog, it still seems unreal. My stomach began to hurt, so much so I couldn’t eat much and lost 20 lbs pretty rapidly. If you are struggling with chronic pain that you feel may be exacerbated by your loss, talk to a pain management specialist. In life all things are uncertain except for death which is our only true friend from the day we are born. He had been home from hospital less than 12 hours. Combined, private family funeral services will be held on Saturday, January 30, 2021 at 11:00 a.m. at the Perry Stake Center. Corrine  February 17, 2018 at 3:09 pm Reply. Yes. On Sunday the 11th I came next to his house to check on him bc I didn’t hear from him that morning. I lost my ex partner to alcohol and the pain, grief and unbearabe guilt that followed, almost killed me. Yet somehow my family made me feel like I was in the wrong. I phone or meet a friend for coffee and chat. I watched oral melanoma take over his mouth. He was such a sweet, beautiful boy, and an old soul. I miss her so much. Maybe short term disability would be a good idea – if you have the financial means to do so, you don’t want to cause more stress at what is already a difficult time. I am coming up on the 1st year of his passing March 24th. I pay very close attention to my self while driving so I don’t forget to be safe. It’s insane how much one person could touch so many lives. Thanks for these insights and ideas of how to deal with physical grief. I was beginning to worry that it was something else, but it makes me feel better knowing that the the pain is caused by the overwhelming amount of stress hormones being released during the grieving process, which effectively stun the muscles they contact. Even in the best situations kids sometimes act out a bit…it is normal. Who knew he could swim? He had a cough, they think a virus attacked his heart, and he was on life support for 19 days. I’m so sorry to everyone who’s posted here for their losses. My body hurts and I feel the world closing in around me all the time. I had the best 14 years 7 months of my life with her. Sending love to all of you. You will be whole again but you will never be the same, nor would you want to.”. I was bullied for 2 and a half years by a male boss who left me to do all the hard labour. This list goes a bit deeper than some we’ve seen and might be a good place to start. Every day, I ask him to forgive me–paradoxically, both for allowing him to remain in pain for so long, and for not finding a way to keep him alive longer. I have been a wreck every since. I lost my mother to Acute Myeloid Leukemia in August of 2018 and am still exhibiting grief fatigue. It was now June and she was hanging on with every breath. Then After I got home It took me weeks to get my yard presentable and continue to find things missing from the strangers allowed into my home without my permission or knowledge. I had a hard time breathing, so i lovingly forced deeeeep slow breathing…..and i walked and walked and walked. Since the death of my son I have experienced all of the above symptoms and ailments. I’m having a hard time concentrating and remembering simple things. I felt his pain and fear. He’s not here, but his spirit is. If you are struggling with eating enough, focus on at least making sure your basic nutritional needs met. I felt, every waking moment, that I caused this horribly unexpected tragedy. I feel so numb and it constantly creeps up on me but whats getting to me at the moment is the dreams. Shay  September 28, 2018 at 9:07 pm Reply. In lieu of flowers please send donations to Gillies Funeral Chapel, PO BOX 704, Brigham City, Utah 84302 to help offset funeral costs for the children that are left. I am 54 and just lost father. I miss her so much that I’m still nauseous alot and still cry every day. it was his third rehab. I am just not me. I’ve been familiar to some extent to what grief, I’ve also lost my grandpa earlier this year, and I think I can say that I’ve dealt with grief then, mental grief. I´m certain I had not lived to day, had my father not, very quietly and respectfully, left food in my apartment, during the first months. So the good new Casey, is you aren’t alone. I know this will happen for you too and I thank you for holding my hand for a piece of this hard journey. Do I suffer deep grief because they all died suddenly, without those words of goodbye so beloved in fiction? 😉 ). This, from a newer type cancer treatment, coupled with the chaos of the pandemic that day. I had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) for 7 years. However, what I am suggesting, is that you please try and keep positive while thinking of the future. It’s not easy for me to say this because my husband passed away such a short time ago. The lack of knowing what is happening has been….Hell! I called him right back and he’s telling me that my mother’s husband who was the only grandfather that both my son and my nephew ever knew had died. I’ve got this hole in my heart and with Christmas approaching-makes matters worse. And all I can think about is his suffering, and that I did it. And like you, I was widowed at a young age. 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